Oasis

We all wake up in the morning and get ready for whatever lays ahead of us
Work
School
Preparing breakfast
The list goes on and on
Everybody does something different, but the point is, we all do something
The day sometimes flies by and next we know it
The day comes to an end and were laying in bed, slowly falling asleep
Yet there is some people who's days drone on
I know as a high school student I can't wait for the day to end
Just so I can get home and out of the old creaky building
Some like what they do
Some don't
And those that don't have a lot harder time getting through their day
and being happy.
There is so much misery in this world that it is hard to contradict it
Staying happy constantly is almost like defying gravity in a sense
We need help
and lucky for us, life does supply it
We all need oasis's in our life
There would be no way of getting by with those little oasis's that we hope for
strive for.
The oasis of family, of your wife/husband, of your kids
The oasis of the simple hello, friendly gesture, or high five
The oasis of Religion
Whatever your oasis is
life will always supply them
So when you are having a bad day
or just feeling down
Make a list of oasis's that you have been blessed with
and then you can create an oasis
of your own.

Observations

I walked into the classroom in silence
I arrived ten minutes late, and knew I would suffer the consequences
My car had broken down, leaving me to getting a ride from my parents
Nobody noticed as I snuck into the back seat of the classroom
My friend sat slouched over with her head cocked to one side staring at the board
It was apparent that she was not focusing
I could not see her eyes
But the fact that she was twirling a pencil and shifting her shoulders to the left told me she wasn't on the board
but rather staring out the window.
I shifted my gaze to my peer to the left of her
He was staring contently at the teacher
His gaze was unpeneterable
He found this subject fascinating
You could tell by the change of wrinkles on his forehead
that every word uttered by the teacher was processed and affected him hard
I listened to what the teacher was saying
While keeping my gaze fixed on him
The teacher was discussing the fact of relationships at teen ages
Every time the teacher uttered the word love, or relationship
I could see him cringe and sink lower into his seat
This then brought my gaze to his girlfriend across the room
She was sitting slouched over with her arms on the desk in front of her
She let her chin rest on her forearms
Her gaze focused on the wall in front of her
She was deep in thought as you could see her eyes twitter back and forth
The subject was hitting her hard also
And the thoughts weren't happy
They were troubling
I made a mental note to ask my friend about her in the next class
and then moved on
My friend shelby tapped me on the shoulder and asked where I was
I answered his question he patted me on the back and went back to doodling
his writing was light and quick
the circles and scribbles showed no consistency
and created no picture
He was simply content
He was having a great day and was very happy
I smiled knowing he always is content
not very often do I see him with a frown on his face
The bell rung loudly startling a few in the room
I gathered my belongings and made my way out the classroom door

Scars

As I walked into school I tried my hardest to hide the one thing about me that I wanted to keep from everybody.
My Scar.
It was an ugly thing,
It protruded from the skin, almost as a mutant
It started by my elbow and ran up my arm to my shoulder
The whole scar was sharp to the touch
I wore band aids over band aids trying to cover it up
and eventually it worked
I would wrap it with layers upon layers of moleskin
The bump would still show
But luckily nobody looked close enough
to notice the scar protruding from my skin
I went by every day
and nobody asked about it
I was succeeding
I was hiding
After a time passed
I started to question my actions
Would people understand if I didn't hide the ugly scar?
Or would people see me as a freak?
Then one morning I decided to unwrap the moleskin
and show the world the ugly protruding scar
I went by school and people looked at me differently
They stopped talking to me
I was outcasted
However a few people did accept me
These few people were the only reason I kept the scar unwrapped
I kept the scar open for a good month
I went home one day and went about my day as normal
Then as I walked past my mother my scar brushed against her skin
It cut her deep and I watched the blood trickle down her arm
Staining her skin as it ran down in thick drops
I stared in horror
I ran out the door and immediately drove to my best friends house
I talked and talked to her
but as I walked out the door the scar brushed against her back
It cut through her shirt
and deep into her skin
the blood again trickled down her back
collecting in the threads of her shirt
Staining her skin and clothing
I slowly took steps back as I watched her stare at me in horror
She called my name, and asked me why I even took off the moleskin in the first place
I did not respond
I didn't know how to
the reason was selfish
the reason was mean
Put it back on she said
Put it back on.
Hide it.
I ran away in tears.
I immediately went home and took out the moleskin
I wrapped it twice as much as usual
Never again was I to show this scar
It has caused to much pain
Too much grief
And too much sorrow
I watched the scar disappear under the moleskin
Never again
Never again
Will I show this part of me to the world
Maybe it is better to hide this from the world
Maybe this wasn't really part of who I really am
Wether it is or not
I know one thing
It will never be shown to the world again.
Never again do I want to bring that amount of pain to people
Never again do I want to stain people in that way
Tears filled my eyes as I wrapped the moleskin over my scar one last time.
Never.
Again.

Confidence

Confidence is not something that is fallen upon, it truly takes a lot of work to reach the point of truly being "confident" in yourself. During life there can be so many events that affect this confidence that we have in ourselves. While we are children we think we are the best thing on the face of the planet. We also think we have the best parents in the world and we make sure to tell them through notes. I still remember some of the coolest moments is when I walk into my room after a hard day and find a note on my pillow from my little sisters saying three simple words, I love you. It means so much and I don't think they understand what a profound effect it has on me and my attitude towards that day. I really feel like i'm doing something right and if they can write on a piece of paper that they love me, I had to have done something to make them feel that way towards me.

Then as we grow older we graduate from elementary school and enter middle school. A person's middle school years is often referred to as the worst years of their life. We all are growing and are starting to get acne and then puberty on top of it all! We don't know what is happening to us or our feelings. We are lost and have a hard time of knowing what to do. So after a day of spilling milk on my lap, earning a crude nickname, and getting your books hit out of your hands going home can sometimes be a great relief. Eating with people that wont judge you for spilling milk on yourself and interacting with people that will help you pick up your books rather than cause them to end up on the floor. And then again, as you enter your room seeing that pink paper on your pillow brings a smile across your face. You open it up and read three simple words, I love you.

After we finally overcome the years of middle school we hit high school. High school is where we start gaining that confidence in ourselves like we had when we were a child. We start to discover who we are and what we want to become when we're older. These years are crucial to our future and we feel the pressure of that. We know that the grade you get in that AP class you take can make the difference of getting into college or not. You start making friends and know who you want to be with. Then comes the even more added stress of dating. Just a couple of weeks ago my friend asked a girl on a date that he has liked for years and she said yes! The joy on his face expounded from every pore. He walked around with his chest held high and his shoulders raised almost to his ears. He planned what movie to attend and the exact car he was going to drive. Then that night she texted him. "I'm sorry, but I don't like you like that." The truth hit him hard. He threw his plans out the window and sucked in his confidence. He didn't accomplish anything, he says to himself. No girl is ever going to want to go with him, he has no chance, he repeats to himself all night. He has little confidence in himself at this moment, in that split second, with that one text message, all was lost. Our confidence hangs on a thread. It ultimately depends on our surroundings.

Then after a long day of school we return home. To some they go home to a house of turmoil and abuse. No comfort is found anymore and that once "best parent in the world" has turn into a monster. And then there is some of us who go home to a house of love and care. That parent is still important to us and we still love them dearly. Then as we retire for the night we see that pink slip on our pillow and pick it up. We read those three simple words, I love you. Those words bring a smile and tears to our eyes. We sit on the side of the bed and read the words over and over again. Someone cares about me. I am doing something right. And we tell ourselves this all night. Even as we close our eyes, we can see those three words on the back of our eyelids, I love you.

To know someone honestly cares about you can go so far. To have someone say good job today, you rocked that paper. To have someone simply comment on your dress that day can truly make their day. Our confidence soars when we are hit with the simplest compliment. So watch people and watch their mannerisms. If you see a slight frown or a slight slouch, reach out to them and compliment them. Their day will be made and instant results will be seen. And I know that that one compliment will be not taken lightly, rather taken as a lifesaver, or as a confidence saver.

To Be Proud

To be proud of something takes trust, knowledge, and love.
It takes a lot of work and time to create pride,
and just a split second to lose it.
When it's lost, everything is lost.
Not knowing how to act, feel, live.
They painfully remember when they were eligible of someones pride.
Seeing them look at you
With a smile on their face
Knowing that they are proud of who you are, and what you do
When all of that is gone, you lose direction
The path back to your life before is a long and hard one
And even if you do make it back
There will always be that part of you that no one will ever be proud of
Not even yourself

Care and Farmland

Care. The word has such positive meaning. She or He cares about me, they care a lot about me, the word truly shows affection. Yet just because someone cares about you doesn't mean they're in love with you, or love you period, they just care about your well being. Some people have a more caring outlook, and some think about the next step to revamp their house or which color of snuggie they're going to buy for their dog. Is there a such thing as caring to much? or to less? You don't often hear people tell you you're caring to much, but that doesn't mean it's never heard. Some people have a hard time letting go of things and really become emotionally attatched. Like myself for example. I become emotionally attatched to people or objects and have a hard time of letting go. There are just people that their main goal in life is to care about other people. The persons are the people that make our best friends and become the most influential people in our lives. So what happens to the people that don't care? They become the people who succeed in business. They're the lawyers, the CEO's, they are the wealthy upper class. I had the opportunity of interacting with a wealthy environment and a middle class environment. The attitudes of the population is completely polar opposites. When we see the movies with the old western town where everybody knows the sheriff and is on personal terms with everyone, this isn't fiction, it's true.This last week I got to visit a farmland out in Branchville, Wisconsin, and for those who have never visited, the total population is 834. The city is small, yet when we talked to the farm owner, they knew when their neighbors cousin's wedding was! It's incredible how close people are when they don't have the media we have! It truly is a dream to be able to live with people who have so much love in their hearts, and truly just want what is best for you. No catches, no benifits or returns that are needed, just pure care. As we run through our lives we never stop to smell the roses, never sit down and just talk to someone, and no, Instant Messaging on facebook doesn't count. It would truly change the dynamic of your relationship with the people around you. Try it, sit down and bring someone to lunch, let them know you care, and you will be surprised how great of a friendship will grow out of it.

Our Past

Everybody has one, and some can be something they're proud of, and some it brings back painful memories. Everybody's past is unique in their own way, no two are the same. Even if you were to look at twins there would be big differences in their lives, which creates them and their personality. If it weren't for our past we wouldn't be where we are now. For some of us where we are right now isn't the best and we blame it on our "mistakes" in the past. If we really consider each event we wont see mistakes in our life, just a life changing event. These events lead us on the journey called life. A mistake is defined as an error of action, but is it really an error if it makes us who we are? Sure we beat ourselves over the past but in the long run that one event might not even matter. And if it does, there is always the present to fix it. There is no such thing as mistakes in our past, our "mistakes" are just choices that someone doesn't agree with. It's a matter of opinion. Now this doesn't mean that we should take people's opinions on our past lightly, we should review them and make sure to change what we did for this person and never do it again, especially if they are someone that is close to you. You can't change the past, but you can change what you do right now. If you wronged someone go back and give them a hug, apologize, and make the future opposite of what the past is. Then when the future becomes the past you can look back and realize, you changed your past, and it's increasingly getting brighter. The feeling of this spreads a smile across your face and nothing feels better than looking on something and being proud of it. Being proud of who you are and what you've done, is one of the best feelings a human can ever experience. So strive for the feeling, fix your past, and smile at what you've done. Anybody is capable of reaching this point, it's only a matter of taking action.