Confidence is not something that is fallen upon, it truly takes a lot of work to reach the point of truly being "confident" in yourself. During life there can be so many events that affect this confidence that we have in ourselves. While we are children we think we are the best thing on the face of the planet. We also think we have the best parents in the world and we make sure to tell them through notes. I still remember some of the coolest moments is when I walk into my room after a hard day and find a note on my pillow from my little sisters saying three simple words, I love you. It means so much and I don't think they understand what a profound effect it has on me and my attitude towards that day. I really feel like i'm doing something right and if they can write on a piece of paper that they love me, I had to have done something to make them feel that way towards me.
Then as we grow older we graduate from elementary school and enter middle school. A person's middle school years is often referred to as the worst years of their life. We all are growing and are starting to get acne and then puberty on top of it all! We don't know what is happening to us or our feelings. We are lost and have a hard time of knowing what to do. So after a day of spilling milk on my lap, earning a crude nickname, and getting your books hit out of your hands going home can sometimes be a great relief. Eating with people that wont judge you for spilling milk on yourself and interacting with people that will help you pick up your books rather than cause them to end up on the floor. And then again, as you enter your room seeing that pink paper on your pillow brings a smile across your face. You open it up and read three simple words, I love you.
After we finally overcome the years of middle school we hit high school. High school is where we start gaining that confidence in ourselves like we had when we were a child. We start to discover who we are and what we want to become when we're older. These years are crucial to our future and we feel the pressure of that. We know that the grade you get in that AP class you take can make the difference of getting into college or not. You start making friends and know who you want to be with. Then comes the even more added stress of dating. Just a couple of weeks ago my friend asked a girl on a date that he has liked for years and she said yes! The joy on his face expounded from every pore. He walked around with his chest held high and his shoulders raised almost to his ears. He planned what movie to attend and the exact car he was going to drive. Then that night she texted him. "I'm sorry, but I don't like you like that." The truth hit him hard. He threw his plans out the window and sucked in his confidence. He didn't accomplish anything, he says to himself. No girl is ever going to want to go with him, he has no chance, he repeats to himself all night. He has little confidence in himself at this moment, in that split second, with that one text message, all was lost. Our confidence hangs on a thread. It ultimately depends on our surroundings.
Then after a long day of school we return home. To some they go home to a house of turmoil and abuse. No comfort is found anymore and that once "best parent in the world" has turn into a monster. And then there is some of us who go home to a house of love and care. That parent is still important to us and we still love them dearly. Then as we retire for the night we see that pink slip on our pillow and pick it up. We read those three simple words, I love you. Those words bring a smile and tears to our eyes. We sit on the side of the bed and read the words over and over again. Someone cares about me. I am doing something right. And we tell ourselves this all night. Even as we close our eyes, we can see those three words on the back of our eyelids, I love you.
To know someone honestly cares about you can go so far. To have someone say good job today, you rocked that paper. To have someone simply comment on your dress that day can truly make their day. Our confidence soars when we are hit with the simplest compliment. So watch people and watch their mannerisms. If you see a slight frown or a slight slouch, reach out to them and compliment them. Their day will be made and instant results will be seen. And I know that that one compliment will be not taken lightly, rather taken as a lifesaver, or as a confidence saver.
